Seasons & Episodes
Ramon
Captain Barney Miller talks down a junkie who is holding the 12th Precinct hostage.
Experience
A bomber targets the 12th Precinct, as Det. Fish contemplates retirement.
Snow Job
The squad grapples with guarding a department store payroll and a flasher who attempts suicide in the bathroom.
Graft
An old friend of Barney's is assigned to investigate allegations of corruption in the squadroom; Chano is after an obsce
The Courtesans
A prostitute threatens to file harassment charges against Wojo; Rachel wants to move into her own apartment.
Stakeout
Well-meaning nosy neighbors overrun a covert stakeout operation.
Bureaucrat
Guests to the 12th include a drunken bureaucrat and the 12-year-old who robbed Chano's apartment; Wojo closes the precin
Ms. Cop
An overzealous lady cop ruffles the feathers of the testosterone-run 12th; Chano nabs an obscene phone caller. Linda Lav
Vigilante
Barney is visited by Inspector Luger, who complains that his men aren't disliked enough by the public; a neighborhood vi
The Guest
The 12th Precinct reluctantly guards a mob witness; Chano uses his co-workers' own cash stash to set up a narcotics buy.
Escape Artist
A self-avowed ""bird-man"" drops in; Barney holds a resourceful escaped prisoner for the FBI; Harris decides to write a
Hair
A scruffy ""Serpico""-type cop has good reason to hide behind unruly hair; Bernice discovers that Fish spent the afterno
The Hero
Chano is guilt-stricken when he shoots a holdup man; Liz makes a citizen's arrest, after being robbed at ""stickpoint""
Doomsday
A disgruntled man with a belt of dynamite threatens to blow himself and the squad room sky high unless President Nixon a
The Social Worker
Weary of housework, Liz tries her hand at social work, to Barney's dismay; a master forger fascinates Harris.
The Layoff
Barney, Fish and Yemana feel the crunch when a labor layoff forces them to do without Chano, Harris and Wojo; a manicuri
Ambush
Yemana is shot in full view of disinterested bystanders, and Barney is offered a job in Florida.
Heat Wave
A wife claims spousal abuse; Wojo and Wentworth are bait for a park rapist.
The Arsonist
The precinct is on the lookout for an arsonist; Chano brings in a man who used a deadly weapon on a vending machine.
Hotel
Wojo and Wentworth pose as marrieds in order to bust a burglary ring set in a posh hotel.
Discovery
Marty claims that a member of the 12th is harassing the gay community; the precinct computers think Fish is dead.
You Dirty Rat
Barney smells a rat when two pounds of confiscated marijuana disappears from the evidence locker, and a homeless man spe
Horse Thief
A hansom cab owner reports his horse missing. A man assaulted in his hotel room insists he was alone.
Rain
During a very rainy day, the squad must endure both the precinct roof threatening to collapse, and VERY bad Bicentennial
Fish
A glimpse at Detective Fish's home life ensues when the detective decides to go on restricted duty. Steve Landesberg bow
Hot Dogs
A man is convinced that a photo of Jean Harlow is his missing wife; a pair of lady cops makes an overzealous drug bust.
Protection
The citizenry is in a panic amidst the rumors that the 12th Precinct is being shut down; a repentent hood can't prove th
Happy New Year
On New Year's Eve, Fish tries to stop a jumper, and Wojo delivers a baby.
Sniper
A con man is selling charter flights to Saturn; Wojo and Luger are sniper targets.
Fear of Flying
Wojo must escort a bigamist to Cleveland, even though he is (guess!) afraid of flying. Meanwhile,the bigamist's New York
Block Party
Wentworth is furious when Chano gets the credit for her bust of an assassin at a block party.
Massage Parlor
Wentworth busts a dime-store cowboy in a massage parlor, and the detectives bust an octogenarian mugger.
The Psychiatrist
A department psychiatrist advises the department to confiscate Wojo's gun
The Kid
Fish is attracted to the mother of a young mugger; a man is a bit premature to obtain the unclaimed windfall he found on
The Mole
Fish considers an operation; a burglar known as ""The Mole"" leads Harris and Wojo on a merry chase through the city sew
Evacuation
Wojo is dismayed to discover that the city doesn't have up-to-date evacuation procedures in the event of an emergency; F
Quarantine (1)
Wojo brings in a sick perp who collapses on the floor...resulting in the 12th being put under quarantine,with the follow
Quarantine (2)
The quarantined 12th Precinct tries to make it through the night: Lugar has a 'talk' with Marty and Daryl Driscoll; and
Bus Stop
Quarters are tight at the 12th when a holdup man is confined with his busload of victims.
The Election
Election Day at the One-Two includes: A woman, being held from voting by her husband, throws a toilet seat into the stre
Werewolf
A disturbance in the park turns out to be a man who claims to be a werewolf.
The Recluse
A latter-day prophet claims the end is near - 5:30, to be precise; a man who hasn't left his apartment since World War I
Noninvolvement
Barney doesn't see a crime, but Wojo's brought in a man for refusing to aid a mugging victim.
Power Failure
A power failure darkens spirits at the 12th, where they play host to a man with a split personality.
Christmas Story
Wojo wants to tell Yemana that his Christmas Eve date is a call girl; Fish dons a red suit to catch a mugger who's targe
Hash
Wojo brings hashish-laced brownies his new girlfriend made to the 12th Precinct, getting the detective squad stoned; whi
Smog Alert
All eyes are on Fish as the city undergoes a first-stage smog alert; an unlikely connection is made between a potential
Community Relations
An evicted tenant greets a landlord with a musket; Barney's charged with harassment when he books a blind shoplifter.
The Rand Report
Rather than return one week per month to uniformed patrol, Wojo quits the force.
Fire '77
The 12th may go up in smoke, to the delight of a suicidal couple.
Abduction
Barney has his hands full with a couple who want his assistance with their cult-influenced daughter, and Nick's bookie w
Sex Surrogate
Weary of waiting for promotion, Levitt announces that he's quitting the force; Barney investigates a sex clinic that bor
Moonlighting
Barney discovers that Harris has been moonlighting; Dietrich arrests a priest who's fencing stolen goods; a racketeer is
Asylum
Marty is picked up for parole violation with a half ounce of marijuana; Wojo prematurely grants a Russian defector asylu
Group Home
Yemana assists a bigoted Army officer when a bomber threatens a recruiting facility; it's Fish's turn for mugging detail
Strike (1)
An impending strike is on everyone's mind, except the woman who was robbed by her computer date. (Part 1 of 2)
Strike (2)
Barney and Inspector Luger man the fort alone when the detectives go out on strike.
Goodbye, Mr. Fish (1)
A neighborhood vigilante group runs amok, and Fish is AWOL on the day of his retirement.
Goodbye, Mr. Fish (2)
Fish finally shows up for work, but refuses to acknowledge his mandatory retirement.
Bugs
Listening devices discovered in the squad room may have come from Internal Affairs - or the Nixon administration!
Corporation
A quixotic environmentalist faces the high-priced lawyer hired by the chemical plant he's been assaulting.
Burial
Retired Sergeant Fish returns to assist Barney in locating a pilfered corpse.
Copy Cat
Yemana scours the TV Guide to try to second-guess the felon who's aping the prime-time lineup crime shows; a drunk forge
Blizzard
A blizzard holes up the 12th with an unwelcome guest—a corpse; a self-proclaimed prophet is sure that the weather
Chase
A taxi company is irate when Wojo totals a borrowed cab while pursuing a robbery suspect; Lieutenant Scanlon tries to fe
Thanksgiving Story
The detectives clean up after three mental patients sit down to Thanksgiving dinner at an automat.
Tunnel
Wojo is buried alive after a tunnel collapses on a burglar burrowing towards the diamond exchange; a homeless Harris is
Atomic Bomb
Neither the bomb squad nor the government recognizes a college student's physics project as a functional atomic bomb - b
The Bank
A man charges a sperm bank with murder after the lab unwittingly destroys the man's last sample.
The Ghost
The detectives are unimpressed with a man who claims he's being visited by a poltergeist - that is, until they lock the
Appendicitis
Yemana is hospitalized with appendicitis; the cage is a stopping-off place for a sugar addict and an aging bounty hunter
Rape
The city legalizes off-track gambling, to the delight of Yemana; a woman wants her husband arrested on a rape charge; a
Eviction (1)
Barney puts his career on the line by refusing to forcibly evict the tenants of a condemned hotel, while Lugar tries to
Eviction (2)
The hotel situation now involves a SWAT team, while Dietrich learns the identity of his amnesic ""girlfriend.""
Wojo's Problem
Wojo comes to Barney with a problem his superior would rather not know about; the 12th's new female detective has a very
'Quo Vadis?'
Barney uncovers, if you will, the real reason behind a woman's vehement insistence that a nude-painting exhibit at a loc
Hostage
Harris finally finds an apartment in the Village; a ventriloquist insists he's not responsible for his dummy's insensiti
Evaluation
The members of the squad nervously await Barney filling out their evaluation forms. Meanwhile, Harris arrests a numerolo
The Sighting
A man liquidates all of his assets into gold, much to his wife's dismay; Wojo claims he saw a UFO over Staten Island.
Inauguration
Harris does some extensive soul searching when he's offered a job on the mayor's security team.
Kidnapping (1)
A political activist abducts a department store magnate; Wojo arrests a prostitute and her Arkansan business manager.
Kidnapping (2)
Wojo delivers the ransom money for the department store owner, while the prostitute charms both Wojo and the victim's ne
The Search
Off goes the moustache, as it's Harris' turn for cross-dressing mugging detail; the host of a kids' science show goes of
Dog Days
The German Shepherd that bit Wojo may be rabid; Barney and Liz prepare for their impending separation.
The Baby Broker
A German girl attempts to flee the country rather than surrender her baby to a broker's clients; Levitt turns to stimula
Accusation
An accusation of an indiscretion on the part of Dietrich leads to a visit from the gleeful Lieutenant Scanlon of Interna
The Prisoner
A released prisoner can't adjust to civilian life; the widow of a cat burglar elects to perpetuate the family business.
Loan Shark
Barney notes some uncharacteristic behavior from Yemana; a client can't get a tattoo artist to remove his work; Harris b
The Vandal
Barney has the uneasy feeling that it may have been Levitt that vandalized the precinct squad room; a TV programming exe
The Harris Incident
A stockbroker leaves Wall Street to become a beggar; a rookie cop, assuming Harris to be a felon, shoots at him.
The Radical
Luger faces off against a 60s radical, and Harris arrests a portly second story man.
Toys
Feuding toy makers create a disturbance; Barney faces his first holiday as a separated man; a claustrophobic prisoner ha
The Indian
A woman has her shoes stolen - from her feet; Wojo is forced to arrest an aging Indian who only wants to die in the park
Voice Analyzer
Lieutenant Scanlon returns, this time attempting to ferret out corruption with a lie detector; Barney is suspicious of a
The Spy
A paranoid spy holds the precinct house at bay; the men bring in a disorderly mime.
Wojo's Girl (1)
Wojo decides to move in with his girlfriend; Mr. Brauer tells his wife that he's leaving to become a mercenary. This was
Wojo's Girl (2)
Wojo struggles to co-habitate with his ex-prostitute girlfriend.
Middle Age
Barney feels the onrush of Father Time; Dietrich books an Olympic hopeful who practices his javelin toss in Central Park
The Counterfeiter
Harris milks a wily counterfeiter for his life story; a man takes exception to a plastic surgeon's work on his wife.
Open House
The 12th Precinct hosts an open house, attracting only vagrants; Barney's joy at moving back home is cut short by the ho
Identity
Harris quickly regrets the fact that Dietrich has saved his life; the 12th is asked to assist a thief who has been grant
Computer Crime
A computer firm has difficulty retrieving embezzled funds; an educated young man claims to be under the influence of a v
Graveyard Shift
Barney and his crew face the late shift with a man who believes that he is being frequented by a succubus and an irate t
Jack Soo, a Retrospective
The cast step out of character to offer a tribute to Jack Soo, who died during the show's fifth season.
Inquisition
When an anonymous letter identifies a member of the 12th Precinct as a homosexual, it buys the boys a visit from Lieuten
The Photographer
A tranquil prisoner claims to be Jesus Christ, which is timely for the drug dealer caught with an impressive stash; an e
Vacation
A string of false alarms suggests that a sniper may be after a cop, but the detectives are preoccupied with Barney's pos
The Brother
A visiting monk opts for a quick dalliance with a lady of the streets; Barney discovers to his horror that Dietrich may
The Slave
Harris bristles when he learns that the Burmese chauffeur being booked for a traffic accident is actually an indentured
Strip Joint
A bookstore owner is infuriated when a strip club opens near his place of business; and man is convinced that he is on t
The Bird
Harris' book publication hits a snag when Dietrich refuses to sign a release; a suicide hot line operator becomes suicid
The Desk
A former master criminal becomes a walking zombie following his lobotomy; a man is unable to use the telephone after bei
The Judge
A judge provides an attorney with the ultimate over-ruling—a gavel on the noggin; the crimes reported by a lonely
The DNA Story
The detectives search for a missing viral strain stolen from a lab; a woman is convinced that her husband is actually a
The Dentist
One man's hands are a musical instrument to himself and a nuisance to others; a detective goes undercover to trap a dent
People's Court
Weary of an uncooperative populace, a census taker goes to drastic measures to make a head count; beleaguered apartment
Vanished (1)
Vagrant Ray returns to report his fellow bums' disappearances; a woman wishes to have a child with a surrogate and is fo
Vanished (2)
Harris disappears while undercover as a vagrant; Luger elects to be demoted rather than to retire.
The Child Stealers
A self-proclaimed time traveler tells Harris to fine tune his stock portfolio; Marty's divrorced gentleman friend Mr. Dr
Guns
Wojo fears that a despondent Luger is planning to do himself in; a man seeking to reclaim his television set robs the po
Uniform Days
The cops observe the annual department-mandated ritual of wearing their uniforms - except for Harris who shows up in his
Dietrich's Arrest (1)
A lottery winner dispenses of the prize money by tossing it out a window; Sgt. Dietrich is arrested for his off-duty par
Dietrich's Arrest (2)
Harris gets the unenviable task of booking his colleague Dietrich, whose arrest prompts a visit from Internal Affairs; m
The Architect
A disgruntled architect decides to improve on his building—by blowing it up.
The Inventor
The squad tries hypnosis to uncover the name of a felon that Wojo has forgotten; an inventor steals the plans for his ow
Fog
Barney is down in the dumps when he is passed over again for deputy inspector
Homicide (1)
When the NYPD restructures its precincts as specialty squads, Luger pulls some strings and gets the 12th assigned as a h
Homicide (2)
Harris woos the precinct's crime photographer, while Dietrich tracks down the hit man's intended target; Barney's frustr
The Delegate
A drunk and disorderly turns out to be a delegate from the 1976 Democratic convention; Barney discovers a problem with t
Dorsey
The new detective is convinced that his compatriots are on the take and asks to be dealt out.
Agent Orange
Another domestic dispute at the Brauer household occurs when their apartment building becomes ""clothing optional""; Woj
Call Girl
Dorsey takes a protective stance to a young prostitute; Harris is getting stock tips from another one; and Dietrich is t
Resignation
Dietrich, stricken with guilt when he shoots a felon, tenders his resignation; a playwright assaults an incompetent acto
Field Associate
Someone is sending specific information on transgressions of the men to Internal Affairs; Harris sets up a reunion betwe
Movie (1)
Harris is assigned to direct a pornographic movie; an old-time radio newsman assaults a vacuous television anchor.
Movie (2)
A blind mugging victim and an overzealous charity collector are among the disparate audience members at the screening of
The Psychic
An accused mugger claims that he was answering a psychic vision; a language professor takes vandalistic umbrage to a gra
Stormy Weather
A deaf woman is arrested for prostitution; Barney anxiously awaits news of Wojo, who dived into the Hudson River in purs
The Librarian
A serious tone pervades this episode about a gypsy and his harassment of the owner of a novelty store; on the lighter si
Rachel
Ripner is suing Harris over the lawyer's portrayal in the detective's novel; Wojo asks Barney's daughter out on a date;
Contempt (1)
A restaurant may have refused a man service because of his appearance; Barney won't name an informant so he's charged wi
Contempt (2)
When Barney spends the night in jail, the squad room is left in the natty hands of Sergeant Harris.
The Doll
An expensive doll is abducted for ransom; a man claims he was swindled in exchange for a ticket on the space shuttle; Lu
Lady and the Bomb
The verdict is in on the Harris/Ripner libel suit, and a woman threatens to blow up the squad room with a homemade bomb.
Riot
Luger takes a small disturbance with the Hassidic community and turns it into a full-scale riot; the squad discovers a s
The Vests
The detectives are reluctant to wear their new bulletproof vests; Luger interviews them in case of the need for a quick
The Rainmaker
The officers arrest a rainmaker, only discover that he was hired by the drought-ridden city; Wojo, Harris and Dietrich e
Liquidation
Harris is forced to liquidate his possessions to pay off his lawsuit.
Paternity
Wojo's proven innocent of a paternity suit, but at a cost; a beauty queen is robbed; an irate theater patron vandalizes
Advancement
Luger wants Barney to pen a letter for his mail-order bride; a lottery winner seeks revenge when the ticket seller loses
The Car
A car thief's conscience gets the better of him ... after twenty-five years; Levitt saves a child from a precarious fate
Possession
A husband is assaulted for forcing his wife into designer jeans; a disorderly conduct report leads to a man who swears h
Stress Analyzer
A job fair brings out the worst in a Peace Corps recruiter; Dietrich volunteers for a department stress experiment.
Games
A manufacturer of computer game processors is accused of espionage; a WAC supplements her income on the street.
Homeless
The 12th is overrun with homeless vagrants on Christmas; a greeting-card writer snaps; a cattle prod is the weapon of ch
The Tontine
The penultimate survivor of a tontine attempts suicide in order to concede the money to his cousin.
Examination Day
The detectives don uniforms while Levitt and the others take sergeant's exams; Luger, working with the squad, is overly
The Clown
Street clowns fall prey to a serial mugger; a hundred inmates are sneaked out of holding in the middle of the night.
Chinatown (1)
A murder witness is uncooperative, so he, Harris and Dietrich are forced to share an apartment in seclusion until he tal
Chinatown (2)
Unless he confesses soon, Harris and Dietrich's unwilling roommate may witness another murder. Meanwhile, harassment cha
Hunger Strike
Dietrich aids an elderly psychiatric patient who may be speaking a foreign language; a nuclear activist goes on a hunger
Arrival
Luger's mail-order bride arrives; an elderly woman mugs a man.
Obituary
A newspaper obituary causes a stir when the subject turns up alive; the detectives snag a modern-day chicken thief.
Inquiry
Internal Affairs is called in when a charge of excessive force is leveled against Wojo; an angry parent takes action whe
Old Love
Dietrich's old flame pays a visit; a former child actor clubs an agent with a telephone.
Altercation
Harris and Arnold come to blows; a mugging victim confesses to a twenty-five year old crush on Barney.
Bones
A museum presses charges when an Indian retrieves his tribe's ancestral bones from an exhibit; a scoutmaster catches a m
Landmark (1)
Wojo's discover of an ancient weapon puts the 12th Precinct up for sale.
Landmark (2)
The 12th Precinct is sold; Dietrich arrests the head of a crime school; Luger tries to duck out on his mail-order bride.
Landmark (3)
Friends, foes and felons alike drop by to pay their last respects as the detectives prepare to leave for new assignments
